The Virtue of not Speaking

Did you hear about...?

Such a question naturally grabs our attention, doesn't it? In our media-indulgent culture, we like to know secrets and to catch up on the latest news. We love sharing opinions.

Nevertheless, a life saturated by social media makes it nearly impossible for Christians to follow the ancient wisdom found in Proverbs. Proverbs consistently commends the virtue of shutting one’s mouth. But social media fosters opening the mouth. We are inserted into the public eye with the click of a button. The entire point is to share our perspectives, our reviews, our stories, our photos, our whatever. 

The compulsion we feel to share everything is, I think, a clear evidence of the childishness of our times. One characteristic of children is their constant need for other people’s attention. As one matures, this need generally declines. Adulthood is supposed to be characterized by the declining need for validation and attention.

But this is the world we live in, for better or worse (but mostly for worse). We become involved in everyone’s business (and busyness) by the sheer act of scrolling. Social media catechizes us not to restrain ourselves from controversy. Notwithstanding what Scripture states, “A person who is passing by and meddles in a quarrel that’s not his is like one who grabs a dog by the ears.”

Wisdom is difficult to cultivate on its own. But in our environment of involvement it is especially hard. Into this context, Proverbs splashes cold water on our faces. Will we have ears to hear?  

“When there are many words, sin is unavoidable, but the one who controls his lips is prudent.” 

“The one who guards his mouth protects his life; the one who opens his lips invites his own ruin.”  

“The one who has knowledge restrains his words, and one who keeps a cool head is a person of understanding. Even a fool is considered wise when he keeps silent—discerning, when he seals his lips.” 

“The one who guards his mouth and tongue keeps himself out of trouble.”

To these proverbs we can add the words of Ecclesiastes 5:3, which tells us that “...a fool’s voice comes with many words.” 

Sometimes it is better not to speak. It is often better not to get involved. Speaking too much is a manifestation of folly. Knowing when to speak and how much to speak is the difference between wisdom and folly. Have we forgotten that one important goal of discipleship is to “...lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity” (1 Timothy 2:2)? Does our desire for involvement transcend the need to carefully use and weigh our words? Are we practicing the virtue of self-restraint?